Older and Stupider

I did it again - the same mistake that I keep making. Do I expect that things will change? A few sweet words, no doubt cajoled out of the same lying mouth, and I fell for it. Again. Promises made, and I was in heavn. Promises broken, as always, and I am in the bottom of hell. Crashed. Burned. My heart ached and the pain is unbearable. To think it through, it is not pain, but disappointment, a disappointment that has been building that has left me feeling hopeless and unworthy. He doesn't want me, yet he lies with his sweet words that gave me false hope. Again. Stupid that I am, I bought it, and here I am, writing the same thing all over again. I don't learn, do I?

Another birthday

Another birthday. 42 this year. That's middle-aged. I ffel old - the soul more than anything else. Perhaps because of what I had gone through in the last few years. A lot of pain, not the physical ones. My wish? That I have strength to face everything with dignity, grace and calmness. Something that I don't always feel.

Goodbye

Good bye J. I think I have put up with your transgressions for far too long. Get out of my life.